If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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