Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
