so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize