Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
