Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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