I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
