It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
