its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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