he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
