I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize