This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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