She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
