Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
