I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
