The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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