yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
