3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
