he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
