youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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