it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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