can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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