you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
