My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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