I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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