i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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