I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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