Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
