I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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