Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
