I think I am morally bankrupt
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
