READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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