I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
