Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
