Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
