i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
