Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
