Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize