either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
