So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
