it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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