yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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