school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
