A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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