If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
