the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
