the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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