I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
