Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
