You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
