My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
