His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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