my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
its not stalking. its research.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize