She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
