My hand turned me down
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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