god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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