id be glad to
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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