what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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