We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
