FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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